Relationship Rx

Dear Readers: I recently dated this intelligent, attractive, tall, very blond woman. We went out twice, but the last date went downhill fast, starting when I picked her up at her house. When I tried to start my car the alarm system went haywire, blaring loudly and causing me to frantically attempt some intervention. I couldn't turn it off. The next thing I know a cop is shining a flashlight in the window asking me for ID. He thought my date and I were stealing the car! He asked me to get out and show him my registration. I was embarrassed and pissed. But more pissed because he was checking my date out. He let us go, but the damage was done. We then went to see the 7:30 show of Borat, which I loved. After the movie she made up some lame excuse about having to work tomorrow or something, so I drove her home. I never felt like I connected on any level with this girl, yet would like that opportunity. A few days later I called her and left a message asking her if she wanted to meet up again. It's been a week and she still hasn't called me back. Here's question. Should I pursue her more? Don't women like men that are aggressive? I've heard so many stories about women not liking a guy UNTIL they pursued her, showing how committed he was to winning her love. Thanks. George

Dear Readers: My advice column is coming to your IPOD! Every Sunday I'll post a podcast that focuses on a topic of interest (e.g. dating, marriage, men and the crazy things we do). I'll also answer a question from my readers. I'm excited about this new medium and look forward to connecting with you all on a more personal level. Please feel free to offer your comments and suggestions. Check out the first episode, "Dripping with Desperation" below. George

So, word around the web is that you're the relationship expert. Well I've got a relationship problem for you. Here's my issue. I'm thirty years old and not married. Without fail, I'll go out with a girl I like once, perhaps twice, three times and then she dumps me.

I'm pretty nice to them. I try to be a gentleman, always. But here's the thing. Girls I don't like, for whatever reason, usually want to go out with me on further dates!! So basically I get many dates with girls I don't see a future with, and the ones I like are not interested in me. As a result, I feel like no one wants me and it just reinforces a negative self image. I just don't have success with girls. The feedback I almost always get is girls think I'm cute and sweet and a great guy. But apparently I'm not great enough to see as a husband. So basically I'm only good enough..... to a point. That really sucks. Thanks for your help, Sick and Tired Dear Sick & Tired: I think I understand the basis for your dilemma. You're trying too hard. Your stench of desperation is stronger than blue cheese gone bad on a hot summer day. And women, my friend, can smell that a mile away. The fact is women like men that don't try too hard (unless you're married to them and then you can never try hard enough). I think it comes down to simple economics. Supply and demand. Women like to land something that everyone wants but can't have, like Brad Pitt, Balenciaga goggles and Bottega Veneta sandals. I don't have any idea what those items are, but Vogue has decided that they are THE items to have this Spring. You need to decide that you're the item to have this Spring as well. How do you do that? Here's the easy part. You're already doing it! You say that women you don't like like you. My guess is that you act differently in front of the women you like, versus the women you don't like. Perhaps you're more aloof and less aggressive or talkative when dating women you're "just not into." I'm certainly not advocating being mean, but aloof and disinterested can be read as a challenge for some women. Everyone likes a chase, right? On the next date, try changing your thinking. When thoughts change, behaviors often follow. Remind yourself that she did reserve this time just for you; perhaps cancelled other plans; spent at least twenty minutes on her hair and makeup, and fought traffic to meet you. Imagine for a second that she is actually pursuing you. You'll undoubtedly send off signals that you are worth catching. --George