Relationship Rx

So, word around the web is that you're the relationship expert. Well I've got a relationship problem for you. Here's my issue. I'm thirty years old and not married. Without fail, I'll go out with a girl I like once, perhaps twice, three times and then she dumps me.

I'm pretty nice to them. I try to be a gentleman, always. But here's the thing. Girls I don't like, for whatever reason, usually want to go out with me on further dates!! So basically I get many dates with girls I don't see a future with, and the ones I like are not interested in me. As a result, I feel like no one wants me and it just reinforces a negative self image. I just don't have success with girls. The feedback I almost always get is girls think I'm cute and sweet and a great guy. But apparently I'm not great enough to see as a husband. So basically I'm only good enough..... to a point. That really sucks. Thanks for your help, Sick and Tired Dear Sick & Tired: I think I understand the basis for your dilemma. You're trying too hard. Your stench of desperation is stronger than blue cheese gone bad on a hot summer day. And women, my friend, can smell that a mile away. The fact is women like men that don't try too hard (unless you're married to them and then you can never try hard enough). I think it comes down to simple economics. Supply and demand. Women like to land something that everyone wants but can't have, like Brad Pitt, Balenciaga goggles and Bottega Veneta sandals. I don't have any idea what those items are, but Vogue has decided that they are THE items to have this Spring. You need to decide that you're the item to have this Spring as well. How do you do that? Here's the easy part. You're already doing it! You say that women you don't like like you. My guess is that you act differently in front of the women you like, versus the women you don't like. Perhaps you're more aloof and less aggressive or talkative when dating women you're "just not into." I'm certainly not advocating being mean, but aloof and disinterested can be read as a challenge for some women. Everyone likes a chase, right? On the next date, try changing your thinking. When thoughts change, behaviors often follow. Remind yourself that she did reserve this time just for you; perhaps cancelled other plans; spent at least twenty minutes on her hair and makeup, and fought traffic to meet you. Imagine for a second that she is actually pursuing you. You'll undoubtedly send off signals that you are worth catching. --George

posted by Unknown  # 11/08/2006 11:30:00 PM