Relationship Rx

George, I am single and I have a friend who has been trying to rationalise and prove that I should love him. A few days back I met him and he said, make a choice, either you can love me or don't talk to me. I told him I don't love him and he asked me to walk out. Later he wrote this in his mail, I remember you once said that I don't respect you. I wonder why you thought that I didn't. I don't respect you making some decisions. I believe in you, and you know that. That's respect. I loved the poem you wrote the other day. But here's point counter point. I know that this is the person, or can be, or will be. What I wanted to be. It read: 'The faint glow at the end of the waters Will be the blush on your face And the red of a kiss on mine.' You'd know how I felt about that. But can you imagine I loved it so? That I love it more than any three lines I have ever written in months? George, I don't know if I will be hurting him if I become his friend again, and also if I should be his friend. I don't know if he will ever be happy, or even ok with the fact that I will be in love with someone else. Dear Anonymous, Not exactly sure what he's talking about in his correspondence to you, but one thing is clear... this guy wants you, and you don't want him. That's ok. You're just not into him. I understand that you may like him "as a friend" because he's funny, sweet, a good listener or can hook you up with backstage passes to Madonna's new tour.... but, trust me, any contact with him will probably cause him unnecessary emotional pain. I remember a third date (over two years!) with my life long crush. I wasn't going to give up on my future wife, and perhaps she admired my tenacity. In any case, I was pulling out all the stops to convince her to love me. I even secretly slipped the bartender five bucks to tell her that "we looked good together." Sad really. When she failed to see the obvious perfection of our unity, I finally gave up. Until the next year when I ran into her at a club and hit on her friend to make her jealous. Again, nothing. Ten years later, I still wonder why she didn't like me. Unrequited love really hurts. It's sadness rolled in a layer of self-doubt. Now, if she had approached me with a plan to "just be friends" I would have definitely taken her up on this offer, hoping that maybe I could change her mind along the way. Yet, I would have felt like an enormous idiot with each friendly "non-date" that ended with hug and kiss on the cheek. My male ego crushed under her shoe like a cigarette butt that's been smoked too long. It seems to me that your male friend knows this painful feeling all too well. Most guys do. That's why he's protecting himself in a very healthy way, offering you an ultimatum: either love him or leave him. He's telling you that he won't be able to bear the blow to his ego if you don't reciprocate his offer. This letter or email he sent, however, indicates he's second guessing his original good judgment. He's still trying to sell himself, and probably feeling miserable at the same time. Help him be strong by leaving him as he asked... and keep another fragile male ego intact for another day... and another woman.