Relationship Rx

prescriptions for the soul

May 14, 2006

 

Dump Or Trump

Dear George:

Here is the email I received from a guy I had seen a couple times. What do you think? Should I contact him again?

-- Sarah, Chicago

---------------- Sorry for not responding, things have been really REALLY hectic. I'll try and call you when I get a chance. As we speak, I'm in the midst of a all East Coast Law Department conference call among twelve other things. Sorry, hopefully we get to do it in the next few weeks. Maybe we should just put it off for a while. --------------- Dear Sarah: A quick read shows how truly wonderful this guy is -- in is own mind. His narcissistic proclivities are apparent in his desire to tell you he's on the All East Coast Law Department team, whatever that means. Does anyone really care about this? Oh wait, he and his mother do. Yes, we get it. He's a lawyer and so busy! Hectic, really, which is much more busy than just busy. Hectic, implies rushed and rushed is good if you're on the All EAST COAST LAW DEPARTMENT TEAM. The sad part is the mean spirit of the end of this email. Maybe we should put it off for a while? What he really meant was maybe we should put "you" off for a while. What a jerk! People often treat others they way they were treated as a child. Projective Identification is the term. I suspect that maybe this guy was "put off" by his mother and neglected as a child. He's now transferring these painful subconscious feelings onto you. Some theorists believe that neglect, or abuse, as a child can lead one to develop a narcissistic personality disorder later in adulthood. This man is not going to be able to provide the support you need and deserve in a relationship. Therefore, I say delete the message and move on.

---George

Sarah, did you delete this man from your life?


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