Relationship Rx

prescriptions for the soul

Feb 6, 2006

 

Befuddled By The Cuddle

Dear Readers: A female friend shared this advice with me. She said that I shouldn't cuddle with a woman the "next day" if I didn't intend a commitment.Why you ask? She said that women are quite capable of doing the emotional gymnastics required in uncommitted sex. If, however, the guy is sweet and cuddly the next day, the woman is thrown for a loop and becomes attached in a way that perhaps was not intended. For her cuddling, without commitment, is unfair treatment. I know from my own experience, cuddling the "next day" in no way indicates anything other than I'm... a) cold b) bored c) interested in more sex d) all of the above Now, once in a committed caring relationship, cuddling for me takes on a higher level of meaning. There is a difference. Saying that, do you agree with my friend's no cuddle rule for no-commitment sex. --George
Comments:
well, what your friend says is true to an extent. The extent being me. I have felt this. I would get attached to a person if we cuddled the next day, its something i dont know, and cant explain about myself, but im not doing pschology, so u would probably know why.
well, i am a person who does get attached easily and its not easy to not love/like the person i have sex with.
This shouldnt be a rule though, not to cuddle.
 
(got tu ur blog thru chamki)
i also agree
but i also think it would be very weird if people did not cuddle at all...
i mean its like a natural order of things one would suppose...
sleep at night, cuddle in the morning!
 
The truth is, you shouldn't be having sex with anyone you aren't already committed to, i.e. your spouse. It's a perverse society that says noncomitted intercourse is OK but noncomitted cuddling isn't.

and you should ask your friend to tell more about the "emotional gymnastics" she does to get over a noncomitted sexual encounter. doesn't sound healthy to me. i wonder if she'd have the same trouble if she only cuddled with a man?
 
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